Poetry by Roy Bliss ©

The Broker Joker


I met this marine yacht broker,

a friendly sort of joker,

Who told me of a bargain very rare,

I should have known better,

and had him sign a letter

and remembered that the buyer should beware.


My boating friends, (the lot)

Said I'd have to fix the rot,

and the old girls' really seen much better days

So, I got this fellow Bliss

to take a look at this,

and tell me how much cash I'd have to raise.


Well, there's no caulking in the rabbet

and the fastenings have had it

and it looks as though you'll need a few new beams,

Sister timbers are required.

God ! How that salesman lied

You could poke your leather belt between the seams.


The salesman mentioned huon

and she's a lovely boat to crew on

and he believed the hull was built by Norman Wright,

The surveyor took exception

at this blatant mis-conception

"If Norman Wright was here, he'd want to fight"


He said I got no bargain

and went on with some jargon

about the buttock lines and forefoot being deep,

The sheer line is hogged

and the transom heavily bogged

and the dead rise seems to be a bit to steep.


Timber, I haven't a clue on,

the salesman said it's huon

the surveyor laughed, and I was in the dark

"The boat could fall in ruin,

It's one 1 wouldn't crew in,

Built of pawpaw tree is closer to the mark!"


I was sold a pup, I feel

Now she's painted to appeal,

she has different skippers nearly every day.

This great bargain that I found

is now in a kids play ground

instead of being cruised around the Bay.


Roy Bliss


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